Guest post by Urthboy. It’s a pleasure to have Urthboy back to pen some thoughts. You can read his previous post about family stories here, and you can also listen to his track “Black Dog” below.
Click the link to play the song without leaving the page:
Urthboy – Black Dog
I don’t know much about Man Week but it sounds like a few beers: something to open men up.
The fact that we need a few beers, I mean, a Man Week raised a couple of questions. Is it a sign that we’re thinking forward, or at least stopping to assess where we’re at? Or is it something that gets in the Matthew Mitchams but turns off the Barry Halls, and therefore over before it began?
Most of us are far from perfect so I tend to agree with the positives behind Man Week, especially its modest but daunting goal of encouraging more dialogue from blokes. A lot of the characteristics defining men and women weren’t meant to flip 180 degrees – men are no closer to breast feeding; women no closer to reading on the toilet – but we live in different times now so it makes sense to move with them.
It used to be assumed that men inherited a default authority role (not necessarily deserved but always expected) and the strong man wouldn’t volunteer weaknesses like Samson and his hair. They were expected to lead us through incredible times: great depressions and world wars. These events and our management of them didn’t exist in isolation: they leaked into the lives of children, who picked up cues and tried to unscramble them into lessons to impart on their children. They had kids like me who assumed that everything would be explained when we got ID.
It’s helpful to understand why older generations didn’t talk, so we don’t feel bad for being more forthcoming. We’re all complex: compassion equals weakness only in simple minds.
Acknowledging my own fallibilities isn’t easy, but containing them doesn’t bypass my shortcomings either. Shiiiit, what self-respecting rapper can ever completely front on the philosophical directives of Kool G Rap! By the same token, that hip hop side worked with a turbulent upbringing to never properly shut me up, for better or worse.
Is the latter preferable to holding it in? Who can be certain? I tell myself: at least the leaky tap gives water.
I respect people who shy away from harsh realities cos who knows where they’re coming from? For me though, I prefer to know the truth of something, however unpleasant. I believe you need to deal with what’s in front of you otherwise the risk is you pack it away for later, to pass on. Sure, us men are tough (ahem), ruggedly handsome (umm..) and generally charming (Ok I’ll stop it now), but by and large we defy generalisations. Giving us a moment to think about who we are and what our role is, helps us and those around us. This is why Man Week is cool: everyone needs reminders.
I’ve always wanted this song to speak to fellas who’ve experienced depression or struggle from time to time. It doesn’t have any answers – it’s just a song called Black Dog. Mark has put it up here for you to listen and share. Hit me up on Twitter I’d be happy to send you an mp3 (@urthboy).
Click the link to play the song without leaving the page:
Urthboy – Black Dog
Photo courtesy wsilver.
Got thoughts on what Urthboy has to say?
Or even a thought about Man Week? Leave it below. Be honest.
