A guest post by Ben Phillips, a skateboarder trapped in the hairdo of a post-ironic digital strategist wandering the Continent, updating his Facebook status with the sole purpose of making you feel insecure.

Social networks exacerbate status anxiety in Western society. They introduce inherent bias in self-reporting as well as a forced ease of comparison with an extended peer group.

Status anxiety: the desire of people in many modern societies to “climb the social ladder” and the anxieties that result from a focus on how one is perceived by others. De Botton claims that chronic anxiety about status is an inevitable side effect of any democratic, ostensibly egalitarian society. Wikipedia

Status Anxiety: Why we play the game

In a 2004 documentary, Alain De Botton explores why, despite massive increases in quality of life over recent years, our comparative happiness has declined, or at best remained stagnant.

“Despite being so much richer than a few generations ago, we’re often more anxious about our own importance and achievements than our grandparents were”.

His exploration is comprehensive, arriving at the illusion of equality: in modern Western (supposedly egalitarian) societies we’re led to believe that we all have the same level of opportunity, and that we’re all equally capable of achieving success. In reality, this notion is farcical. From the family we’re born into, to the schools we attend, to our nurtured drive and intellectual curiosity, it’s clear that opportunity is far from an even playing field.

Despite this, it appears to be human nature to compare oneself to one’s neighbour, evaluating our own performance against his or hers, despite the invalid and ultimately fruitless nature of this comparison. De Botton dives deeply into the historical and psychological context of status anxiety, in a sometimes comical and often depressing look at the human psyche.

De Botton focuses exclusively on the comparison with one’s peers, not how the on-going comparison is enabled. Since 2004 there have been some obviously radical changes in the media landscape, so in extending discussion on status anxiety, we need to consider the messenger, in addition to the message.

Adding fuel to fire: how social media exacerbates status anxiety

“Mark McBride just finalised the transaction on our new house!”
“James Paterson is married to Alice Watson”
“Chris Whitney . . . . new job is now official on xxxxxx industry blog”

Of all of social networks’ varied effects, one of the most profound is the shift in the notion of our ‘peer’ group, extending it from a relatively close personal and professional circle, to nearly everyone we’ve ever met. As an illustrative example, the UK Telegraph reports that the average 22 year old British youth has over 1000 Facebook friends. Whilst the ever-growing statistics are significant, the take-out is more important; we’re more connected to a wider range of people than at any other point in human history.

As a result of this shift in architecture, there is a massive increase in peer visibility: through LinkedIn profiles, Facebook pages, personal websites, professional directories and other social networking platforms, we’re served an instant snapshot of where somewhere is, who they’re married to, where they work, where they live etc etc. We’re more aware of the status of our ‘friends’ than we’ve ever been.

These social environments are the messengers of status anxiety’s message. If Western cultures are “more anxious about our importance or achievements”, is part of the reason the ubiquity of the environments which enable us to publish and share these achievements?

There are a couple of sides to the messenger, the enabler of status anxiety, which potentially magnify its effect. Firstly, the inherent bias introduced by self-reporting in these environments. Secondly, the forced ease of comparison (and the architecture behind this.)

1. Inherent bias
Our digital publication of our lives, in most cases, accentuates the highlights, while often completely omitting the lows. Job redundancies are conspicuously out of proportion to new job announcements and we only see the happy couple on holiday, not the heated argument once they get home. And funnily enough, the babies are always smiling.

A post on Slate.com entitled The Anti-Social Network discusses a range of implications of this inherent bias, from university students who feel dejected and inadequate after scrolling through their stream, to infertile women whose unhappiness is exacerbated by their friends’ pregnancies and baby photos. (originally reported in the Washington Post). While most of us are consciously aware of the reporting bias of social networks, it’s this one-sided image that becomes our point of comparison. Which brings us to the second point . . .

2. Forced ease of comparison
The status of our peers is being pushed onto us with greater frequency and in greater volume than ever before. The ‘feed’ is the central aspect of the IA of most major social networks – and all of the elements of social status, relationships, occupation, social life, friends – are the composites of this feed. This format massively contributes to the stickiness of the sites; we see the latest and greatest from our extended peer group and we’re naturally drawn to it.

Doing this however, eases the peer comparison process which is the precursor to status anxiety. I flick through my phone in the morning and see that “oh so and so got married to a beautiful wife, so and so has a new job at a great firm, so and so is featured in this documentary” etc etc.

Shooting the messenger?

So where does this leave us? We’re shooting the messenger here certainly: status anxiety existed before social networks and, ultimately, it’s the message and how we respond to it that’s the root cause of status anxiety. However, in this case, the messenger fundamentally amplifies the nature of the message. The message generally has a positive skew, and this positive skew is pushed with greater frequency to a greater volume of people than in the pre-social media days.

3 balancing thoughts to finish . . .

1. In the majority of circumstances, the utility of these environments far outweighs any personal uncertainty they give rise to
Us humans are a social bunch; staying in touch with relatives/friends, maintaining a professional network, seeing streams of content from friends or receiving kind photo comments is important to us and equates to a net gain for social networks. We are not forced to participate, we do so because we’re drawn to the company of others in its various forms.

2. Social networks amplify, not create, our existing personal and relationship qualities
If your relationship with a particular person is marked by jealousy and fierce rivalry, then Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter etc will be another arena in which that’s played out. If you deeply cherish and love someone, then conversely these networks will enable those feeling to flourish.

3. In almost all cases, these environments are rose coloured glasses into someone’s life
There are notable biases in how people present themselves, how they act, what they post etc. It’s up to us how much emphasis we place on this, as well as how we create our own.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Is the messenger to blame? What role does social visibility play in how we publish ourselves? And in how we perceive others?

For more Ben Phillips, have a read of How to make social ideas.

Have you ever bought a car and then found yourself seeing the same car on every street corner? Or, have you ever booked a trip somewhere to then find out that everyone has a story about their own trip there?

Well, right now, I’m telling you: every single person in Sydney is wearing a New York or Brooklyn t-shirt. It’s incredible.

As Mumbrella politely mentioned last week, my family and I are moving to New York – and me into a New York advertising agency. We still have a few hoops to jump through but it’s happening. I promise.

As much as it’s not cool to kiss and tell, I wanted to pen some thoughts for people who are also considering the move. I’ll undermine the entire post right here by reminding you there are no rules and everything I say is as an outsider to the New York advertising industry. Thing is, that’s the point.

At the start of February 2011, I visited about 15 advertising agencies in New York. This was my experience.

Why move to New York?

Be clear on your reasons. I’m moving for two:

1. Scale

I love Sydney but I’ve had many moments (especially when I was publishing my magazine) where I’ve found the scale here frustrating. I feel that a lot of the projects I’m interested in and ideas I’m keen to make happen need to find a home in a bigger place.

2. The future of my relationship and family

One of the great advantages of being an account planner is you get to read a lot research. Lately, I’ve started nerd-ing out and actually trying to apply the research to myself (hence the recent health kick – by the way, I’ve dropped 8kg since Xmas).

The New York Times has covered a lot of relationship research over the past year and I’ve been gouging on behavioural economics books that examine happiness, motivation and so on (An example: Do Your Relationships ‘Expand’ You?). One of the key points many relate is that new experiences are key to healthy relationships over the long term. Having been with my wife for 14 years now, I think the move will do us good. The kids will adapt and get exposed to different ways of being and thinking too.

Why not a New York advertising agency?

I spent about 6 months researching and talking to people before I went. A lot of planners outside of New York don’t believe much good work comes out of advertising agencies there. Others wanted a less hectic lifestyle (for themselves or their families). They choose places like San Francisco, Portland, Boulder, Boston, and Minneapolis where there are incredible agencies. Some are in Los Angeles – although many people say they couldn’t live there. And there are many other hubs around. In fact, flying back from New York to LA for the first time, I was amazed at how many towns there are spread across the country. Very different to here.

Planning your move to a New York advertising agency

1. Be clear on what you want and where

I was pretty clear on what I was looking for and what I was not looking for. It sat atop my CV helping focus my thinking and conversations. I did meet people about digital strategy director roles even though I don’t believe in the digital strategist role any longer. There’s so much change happening in the industry that it is worth not being shy about exactly what you want to do because a company may be able to create it for you (precedent, success and recommendations from other people will help you make this happen). I also decided to focus in on a New York advertising agency rather than other cities a few months before. Having said that, it may be easier to get jobs in other cities at times.

2. Get your assets ready

Your CV

I designed a 4-pager. On the first page I had:

• my current title
• a headline for what I could offer, what I was looking for and where
• the dates of my visit to New York
• 5 key achievements (1 sentence each)
• my skill set
• 3 of my aims
• my contact details.

With the work history, for my most recent jobs, I wrote 1-2 sentences about the role, listed key achievements and brands (sometimes with the industry if the brand was Australian). I also listed 8 other things I was proud of, talking points to show the diversity (big word in the advertising industry in the States right now) of my background. On the 4^th page, I put some quotes from LinkedIn and some references people had given me (clients, MDs, creative directors, bosses). I asked Anibal Casso to run his eye over the whole thing and he did mention the quotes were a bit wanky but I kept them in – social proof and all.

A portfolio

I designed an 8-pager. I included a diverse range of work: brand planning, information architecture, user experience, community. If you have done a diverse range of stuff but don’t want that sort of role any more then consider not showing it. Feel free to show thinking that didn’t happen if it represents the style of stuff you want to do more of.

The template:

• One big image and 1-2 smaller images (of the end creative, a sitemap)
• A sharp, one-sentence synopsis of the project, my role and the result
• Brand, project name, agency, year, my role/s on the project
• Problem
• Strategy
• Creative idea
• Results

I think getting your CV and portfolio together are really good to help you remember yourself and focus you on what you want from the future. I’m not sure how much they helped generate interest in meeting me or wanting to hire me (a lot of people just had a print out of my LinkedIn profile).

Your online presence

People will search your name if they’re serious about you. Update your LinkedIn profile, your blog and re-visit your online presence. Google yourself so you see what they may see (what you see in Australia will be different to what they see in New York though – use Proxify to vanity-search yourself from overseas). Consider updating your photos. Clean up your Facebook presence and double-check what’s private and what’s public.

Hopefully you haven’t tweeted or blogged about a crap experience at a previous company – this is a real turn off (for me, at least). Delete that stuff if you have.

If you don’t have much of an online presence or you’ve copped flack on a website that appears up high on a Search Engine Results Page (SERP), consider setting up a proper online presence (ie in lots of places), preferably with your actual name in the account name. Usernamecheck.com is useful for this. The only way to push a website that has criticism of you down the SERPs is to create a lot of good, popular content. This takes time. Do it before you need it.

If you want to be tricky, you could buy Google Adwords for your name and for the names of people you’re meeting. It’s a bit gimmicky so it’s up to you how ‘marketing’ you get with this. Obviously, if you ‘get marketing’ with yourself, there are a lot of other things you can do.

3. Contact the advertising recruiters

For strategists, all roads lead to two recruiting companies: Tangerine and The Talent Business. Everyone I spoke to recommended them.

Kimberly Aguilera was my tipping point for moving to America. She’s at Tangerine. Stephanie Redlener from the Talent Business was also great to work with. They’re plugged in to which advertising agencies are leaking great people and which agencies may be a good cultural fit. I’d recommend working with both of them.

Now, as great as they are, I wanted to give you a few thoughts about working with recruiters. Obviously, be clear about what you want. This will help them work out who would be your best fit. They may still throw a curveball at you – it’s always worth listening to, however, remember that recruiters work for and are paid by the agency. They do not pay for your trip, they do not share your risk – except in their time investment and reputation. Having said that, value the personal effort they will put into you. Sometimes they work on retainer for an agency; sometimes it’s on a project basis. Be as upfront about your plans and desires as possible. If you find one that you love working with, feel free to work exclusively with them – sometimes they may ask this of you but unless they’re sharing the risk it doesn’t make sense to me.

4. Find the talent people

We don’t have many talent officers in Australia. Most large US agencies have them. My experience with these guys was very mixed. I found the younger people flaky – no or slow responses to email, unclear about who I’d be meeting, sometimes not briefing the people I was to meet about my background. The more experienced people are dynamic, have a clearer curiosity (not always a clearer direction) about the future of the industry and their agency. You can find them on LinkedIn.

5. Tune into the advertising agencies you’re interested in

If you have a clear hit list, try to find out as much as you can about the company and the key people there. I set up a few Google Alerts, followed a bunch of people on Twitter, looked at company Facebook presences, did some keyword research via Google Adwords and Google Insights (eg to compare search traffic between agencies as an indicator of their momentum and presence). Most have decent websites too.

AgencySpy keeps tabs on industry movements.

Once I’d met with agencies and found out the brands I may work on I also applied the above to the brands and the chief marketing officers (I need to believe in the brands and clients I’ll work with).

6. Research their work and thinking

Creativity, Slideshare, conferences, employee blogs, employee LinkedIn profiles. Tune into all of this months before you leave.

7. Stay up to date with the job listings

LinkedIn is useful enough. There are other sites – Google them. Keep an eye on the different job titles and descriptions. You may need to add these words to your CV, LinkedIn Profile, website (for SEO).

8. If you want to make a hitlist

Scour the award show websites and find lists such as Adage’s A-List and Best Places to Work. Keep an open mind though because not everyone plays that game.

9. Book your trip

You may get hired straight out of Australia but if you’re serious about making the best move you can, get over there. I went for 2 weeks. People will take you more seriously and act with more urgency if you’re in town. You could probably do it in a week if you only want to meet 3 agencies but keep in mind that you may meet a talent officer then they may get you back to meet the team, the MD/CEO, the creative director, the chief creative officer and so on. It will depend on the level you’re going in at.

Time of year: I went in February. I figured it was long enough after Xmas for people to be around. Don’t go when big conferences like SxSW are on unless you intend to go to the conferences.

I stayed at The Roosevelt, a great old hotel in mid-town. I got an excellent deal too (US$119). I considered AirBnb but the hotel deal was pretty good. Fortunately, the flight was free (frequent flyer points). I realise that US$119 per night is a lot of money for 2 weeks – I just decided to make a call on what would be easiest and most comfortable so I could focus on the job at hand.

You can eat at delis or Wholefoods for $5-$10 a meal. If you have a kitchen then you may save more. The subway will cost $5-10 per day depending on how much you use it.

10. The E3 Visa

From what I understand, the E3 Visa (Australians only) is the most straight-forward visa you can get. You need to have done a degree and have a claim for specialisation. The company then needs to lodge a Labor Condition Application, you fill in forms and go for an interview at a consulate outside America. A wife/husband can work on your E3 Visa. More information here.

Advertising agencies in New York: some observations

1. How I’d categorise them

Based on my little experience but a whole lot of research I’d break New York advertising agencies into these 3 groups:

i. Old school and in dire need of change: I don’t want to name names here but I’d actually put a couple of the big, award-dominating agencies in this category.

ii. Large yet progressive: The 2 that people talked about most were Grey and JWT. Grey has grown from about 400 people to 700 people in a few years. They have awesome offices and are winning a lot of new business. JWT’s CEO is a digital guy – David Eastman. Their offices are also very cool and they have strong digital capabilities.

R/GA is also huge but has obvious digital strengths.

iii. Innovator fighting for a bigger stage: Places like Big Spaceship, Anomaly (recently acquired by MDC), Droga5, Strawberry Frog, kbs+p and Huge. All of these places have great, unique points of view on the world and all are making a play for a bigger piece of the action.

2. They’re all trying to work it out

Everyone’s trying to work out what sorts of skills, structures, people they need to get ahead. As I said up top, give them a point of view and many will be interested in exploring it with you.

3. Everyone has an opinion

Whoever you talk to will have a point of view on which advertising agencies suck, who’s about to explode and who’s doing great work. Listen to it all but find out for yourself.

4. Keep an open mind

I went over deliberately keeping an open mind for the first week, when most first-round interviews happened. Be careful about focusing in on cool agency brands. Stay open-minded and meet the odd company you think you’d have nothing in common with. If the first meeting and your research don’t bode well, call it as you see it and focus your time elsewhere.

5. Everyone is doing boring stuff

Some agencies are great at managing their own brands but nearly every agency I met is doing un-exciting work – templated brand approaches (eg beauty, FMCG), getting LINK-tested, and so on. Don’t believe the hype – well, not all of it.

6. Few people asked to see my work

This was weird. I’m just saying.

7. Take notes of your thoughts as soon as you leave

I kept a little file. I paid attention to things like the office design, the body language of the place, if people were talking, if people seemed angry and manic. I also wrote a mini letter to myself every few days – the hotel room got lonely!

8. Keep an eye on bad signals

Moving meetings, meetings without direction, people who don’t know why they’re meeting you and tell you so, frowns around the agency. Pay attention to it.

9. Have a few big questions

Mine were:

i. Does the CEO have a clear, non-financial vision? Economists have shown this is key to the success of a business (instead of ‘our goal is to maximise shareholder value’ via Obliquity and Drive)

ii. Does the work that excites the creative director excite me? The work you see is usually a year or more old. Ask to see some work in progress or new work and ask the person to talk you through it. That way you’ll get to hear which things they’re excited about and whether you share that excitement.

iii. Is there proof of new revenue models? A lot of agencies have a bit of proof – but most are in the project or retainer model based on head hours, sometimes because they believe it’s best, sometimes just because.

iv. Are planners respected? I’d rather go where I’m wanted.

v. Do they have momentum? Whichever role you go into, you’ll be helping that agency become the future. It’s nice to do it with a bit of rhythm behind you though.

Everywhere has its pros and cons. There is no utopia, which brings me to the most important thing:

10. Buy into the pocket of people you will be working with

Bosses, creatives, clients. As I said, everywhere is doing work that won’t excite you but most places have pockets of great-ness (some have many of them). Everywhere has good and challenging clients. Find your sweet spot.

Got something to add or correct?

If you have tips about how to move to a New York advertising agency from overseas, fire away below. The Internet will thank you for it.

If you enjoyed the read, please leave a comment. Feel free to follow me on Twitter
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New year, new restlessness? Well, here are ten power-moves that you, monsieur-dame strategist, could think about applying to yourself as your hurtle down your exciting career apth. And, if you’re truly strategic, you’ll take note of the career advice in ‘The Art of Strategy: A Game Theorist’s Guide to Success in Business and Life’: your dominant strategy should be to take risks while you’re young… so have a crack.

1. Pick an audience

I think diversity is absolutely fantastic; working across different industries with different types of projects exposes you to a lot of different thinking. It helps you graft new methods onto existing methods, it encourages lateral thinking and forces continuous adaption so you don’t get overly attached to knowledge. However, there’s also an argument that because many strategists are diverse like this that you can stand out by (at least for a time) not being like this.

These aren’t rules, merely a starting point, but you may look at choosing an audience based on this sort of stuff:

1. Growing in size and value
2. Few or no specialists in the area
3. Business activity gaining momentum (eg. growing fast but still like a cottage industry)
4. An audience you could focus on for 5 years (passion/curiosity test)

There are very obvious starting points like baby boomers, empty nesters and youth. But if you absorb various trends and find overlap, perhaps there is a more interesting way to look at things.

For example, I’ve just stumbled into the world of organics, kettlebells and getting back into the relationship, and have also just been exposed to the Vibram Five Finger shoes. A lot of this thinking is about what I think of as the Return to Human – looking at ways we used to do things before we industrialised then got iPhones. The World Health Organisation and their breastfeeding recommendations – similar stuff. This 300 Spartan training diary – again: they wanted the actors to look “look like they lived off the land, in the wild, all sinewy and ripped”. So, maybe this human quest would be another way to cut your audience of specialization.

2. Build an audience

Increasingly, I believe agencies need to be networked not just to influencers but directly to consumers. If, as an agency, you have a lot of luxury brands, then why not set up your own communities and media as a direct channel. You’ll embed value in yourself for clients – especially as the intangible realms of strategy and ideas struggle for fair compensation compared to the making of things, the tangible results, the head hours.

Similarly as a planner, if you are plugged in to hundreds or thousands of people with a common interest and have the means to communicate with those people beyond your current job… then that’s definitely value you can take with you.

3. Get experience

Sure, I could be wrong, but I think the days of planners doing massive decks with research outputs and stuff that’s not always that insightful are steadily ending. Simultaneously, I believe planners should add a few new skills to their bow, and the big one I’d recommend is experience planning (see thoughts here: A simple approach to account planning).

The three basic schools I’d break this down into are:

1. High-level customer journey mapping: knowing the behaviours and thoughts a person has through their purchasing, using and re-purchasing phases
2. Service design: more granular exploration and strategic advice based on what currently happens when a customer interacts with you but also what should happen to deliver better results to the customer and business
3. User experience design: designing how a person interacts with interfaces

With one or all of these skills in hand, the account planner becomes much less abstract and much more ingrained in the tangible.

4. Get healthy

Health is going to be a massive topic in the coming years. Obesity epidemics everywhere, Walmart changing some of its food practices with a push from Michelle Obama, sustainability issues growing and growing, the cost of healthcare and hospitals, huge pharmaceutical industry patents ending in the coming years… there is a perfect storm brewing.

From an advertising point of view, I don’t find much of the health-related communications very insightful or creative. Talking heads, Getty Images, former actors, ‘dial now for this incredible deal’, snake oil stuff and so on.

So, not only is there this perfect storm brewing but there are few really strong communicators in this space.

Further, health is pretty broad. Sure, you have pharma, alternative health, fitness, food, supplements, government but there will be a growing trend in the corporate world of trying to make companies healthier for their employees (so that they’re more productive and stick around longer).

Big opportunities here.

5. Numericise

Most strategists have a particular bent. It could be research, running workshops, propositions, trends, insights. Most are decent with numbers but I don’t think many have pure number-crunching skills. Perhaps maths is something you could add to your arsenal: working out customer lifetime value, for instance. This won’t be for everyone but it’s definitely a power move that would make you stand out: “Oh, look, here’s a pivot table I developed to show you how to make more money.”

6. IP power move

Can you develop a thing, an approach that truly delivers good results? I’ve seen so many agency and consultancy approaches that claim trademark but are merely sales tools. John Kay, in ‘Obliquity’, talks about spending 15 years developing economic models to finally realise that the clients that bought them only did so to justify decisions they’d already made. However, if you can develop something of true value, do it and push it.

7. Like it spicy?

China, India, Latin America. Move to one of them if you can. I think the trend for hiring outsiders in some of these countries will decline as locals are trained and brought on. Latin America, with strong creative traditions, probably has few expats but China still has a few. These three regions are where most of the advertising growth is expected in the next few years. Yes, North America is still the giant, but many of these countries will be trying to turn local brands into global brands and it could be an interesting time for a strategist to be a part of it.

8. A little something on the side

Have a crack at a project on the side – something that brings the themes of what you’re interested in together in some way. A social experiment. Research for the sake of it. Put an idea up on Kick Starter. You’ll learn, make new connections and have stories to tell to the business people you deal with (ie your clients). For more: Why strategists should make stuff.

9. Become a digital producer

I get really confused by big agency proclamations about putting ‘digital at the core’. What does this mean? If your CEO isn’t a digital native, if your creative director doesn’t use technology, if your management team doesn’t either, then how is ‘digital at your core’? Besides, what I think this comment means is not that they’re putting a channel at the centre (at least I hope not) but that they’re putting digital cultural values at their core. Anyway, I digress.

I think this point should almost be mandatory for anyone who wants to work in the industry in the next decade: spend at least 6 months as a producer. That way, you’ll understand how long things take to make, how much they cost, you’ll deal with more digital natives and close the culture gap, you’ll understand how complicated some of this is.

It’s a big move… but if you’re serious, give it a shot.

10. Start your own company

If you’ve been a planner for a few years, you should have pretty good instincts about three key things you can use to develop your business ideas:

1. Consumer insights
2. Growing and emerging industries
3. The conventions of those industries

Who knows, with a bit of solid thinking, maybe you’ll create the next Method (detergent) – an article that makes the point plus another.

Thoughts?

You know where to put them. Got your power-move lined up?

If you enjoyed the read, please leave a comment. Feel free to follow me on Twitter

Every Xmas I get into something. I’ve done Sim City. I’ve done ‘collecting obscure mid-90′s hip hop vinyl from eBay’. The downtime, the happy Sydney weather – it always gets me into something. Luckily, my Xmas past was filled with a beautiful meeting. I was doing a mass clean and stumbled on a book I bought when I used to train a lot. It’s called ‘The X Factor‘, by Leslie Kenton. I was about to pass it on but decided to finally read it… and loved it.

At the same time, I started going to the gym in our apartment block and reading up on sports science that I’d slept on for years. It seems that right now, there’s a global food and exercise epiphany about to happen; an epiphany that’s evidence-based but only just starting to gain popular momentum despite much of the research being around for decades. Tim Ferris’ new book ‘The Four Hour Body‘ may not be a tipping point but I’d put money on his book and others coming out this year around these topics may actually start pushing governments to embrace a lot of the new research. They have to.

So, with two weeks off to put the thinking to the blade, here are the big ideas guiding me right now. If I’ve got something wrong or you have more ideas, please leave a note in the comments.

Idea 1: Don’t commit accidental foodicide

The one thing that I took out of reading the decades of research collected in ‘The X Factor‘ is that the way I eat could kill me. Simple. Highly processed, white carb food, bad fats, too much sugar. Dead. Nothing like a bit of apocalyptic drama to spark some behavioural change!

The main science that stuck with me is called The 20 Year Rule, coined by a researcher who went into the health records of countries that previously had little Western influence and noticed that the incidence of ‘Western diseases’ (as Western food arrived) dramatically increased in the first 20 years and then became on par with the West in the second twenty years.

A friend recently told me that the Chinese refer to breast cancer as a rich woman’s disease because only rich Chinese women can afford the diet that they believe causes it.

Anyway, there’s a lot more science that shows the downside of what’s become the Western diet and Kenton goes into the history of the agricultural revolution and how that affected our diets… and health. Read it if you’re interested.

So, having read all of that, I couldn’t keep eating the way I’ve been eating. Here are the basic rules of thumbs I’m trying to follow (without being too anal):

1. Eat organic

The main reasons to eat organic meat that stuck with me are: it’s better quality protein (game animals that run around are best) and it doesn’t have antibiotics in it (if you eat meat with antibiotics in it then you risk medication not working on you down the track).

The two main problems with organics are: availability and price (ouch).

On finding organic food, I had these recommendations:

• Urban Food Market (via Sarah Campbell and Kelly Hartigan)
• Coles (via Elizabeth Webber)
• South Melbourne Markets (via Mandy McEvoy)
• AG Meats (via Chantelle Ellem)
• Big Blues Meats in Taren Point (via Jordan Sim)
• Glenmore Meat (via Benjamin Ruhe) – when I visited they didn’t have much in stock
• Woolworths  (via Stephen Collins)
• Organic Direct (bulk delivery once a month)

So far I’ve purchased stuff from Eveleigh Market (held every Saturday morning), the Leichhardt Organic Food Markets and Coles.

Having lived most of my life in the inner city, I’m enjoying this lifestyle. I take the kids along and treat it like going to Sydney Wildlife World or the Sydney Aquarium – we talk about things, they throw tantrums…  it’s win-win really. But every now and then there will be a breakthrough and a new food will get eaten (choy sum and feta cheese were recent winners).

OK, so having tracked the organics down, the next thing that happens: an allergic reaction to how expensive it all is. I thought buying direct would be a bit cheaper but I don’t see the difference yet! I’m yet to bring myself to buy much organic fruit and vegetable ($1 for a tomato!) but will hopefully find some affordable stuff soon.

The way we’re justifying the extra cost is:

• We’ll save money on eating out (if you call Chinatown food courts eating out!) so we’ll hopefully spend the same amount on food across the week just in different places
• Insurance: the long-term health benefits are worth it (from the science I’ve read)

Smart Company recently listed organic farming in the top 5 growth industries in Australia – I’d definitely invest in this area based on my own experience just over the past few weeks (open to tips!). Point being that hopefully the prices will reduce in years to come.

The big shame about the prices is that the bad food will continue to go to (if not surround) people who can’t afford to eat well, and the disease cycle will continue. The government needs to do more on this.

2. Eat high protein, low carb meals

I never read into the Atkins Diet because it seemed so faddish, however ‘The X Factor‘ touches on a lot of the science that pre-exists the Atkins Diet and makes similar points.

The rules of thumb I’m trying to follow are:

i. Five meals per day: 3 main meals and two snacks
ii. One palm of high quality protein, two palms of vegetables three times per day
iii. Low glycemic index vegetables: broccoli, boy choy, spinach trump peas and corn
iv. Get some good fat from foods like macadamias, almonds, natural yoghurt, feta cheese
v. 3 litres of water per day: it sounds like a lot but if you exercise a few times a week and stick at it, your body just fiends for water
vi. Take supplements: I’m currently taking flaxseed oil, multivitamins and magnesium
vii. Bye bye bread – I’ll eat a bit of rye once or twice a week

How much protein?
I’ve read a few formulas for this and am aiming for somewhere between The X Factor’s formula (which takes into account your body weight in pounds, lean body mass and daily activity) and the convention of 1g of protein per pound of body weight. And, yes, I got myself some protein powder from eBay (awesome tagline on the tub: ‘Life’s too short to be small’) to make sure I get adequate protein (otherwise you’d be eating a lot of food).

So, that’s the food. Now, the activity.

Idea 2: There are smarter ways to exercise

I used to train a lot but I allowed marriage, kids, GFC and work… you know, all that adult stuff… to distract me from being healthy. I’m going to do my best to not let it happen again.

I haven’t set a specific exercise-related goal yet – other than doing it 4-5 times per week. I’m just trying to have fun with it, mix it up and not get bored.

The four things I’ve been looking into are:

1. High Intensity Interval Training

I used to do a bit of this but am now looking to make it core to what I do. Since my focus is a broad health one rather than sports-specific, I’m simply looking for a good calorie burn, plus good muscle and cardiovascular benefits.

The research on HIIT is pretty interesting and has consistently shown good results. In short, it involves sets of sprints mixed in with sets of medium-level activity.

I have repeatedly tested it on rowing and elliptical machines in the past month and have found that exercise done with sprint intervals burns 20-30% more calories in the same time as exercise that may have intervals in them (eg more incline on the elliptical machine) but not sprints. So, theoretically, if you’re looking for general health benefits, get some sprints in there and save yourself some time.

2. Tabata

The Tabata Method is named after a researcher who found that a specific approach to interval training derived the most cardiovascular benefits. In short, you pick an exercise and go hard at it for 20 seconds then rest for 10 seconds – and you do this 8 times (4 minutes). I’ve been doing it with burpees, bodyweight squats and other bodyweight exercises and am enjoying it. There are lots of Tabata videos on YouTube.

3. Kettlebells

A good friend, Derrick Wong, took me through some basic kettlebell training last weekend… and it felt good. Apparently a lot of Russian power-lifters train exclusively with kettlebells when they’re not in competition because it develops practical muscle, uses compound body movements and a lot of core muscles.

I’m completely new to it but am trying to dig up research on workouts that involve only bodyweight exercises and kettlebells. Any suggestions?

Derrick mentioned that two of the leading kettlebell people to look into are Pavel Tsatsouline and Steve Cotter. Tim Ferris (‘The Four Hour Work Week’) has some videos here too – so it must be tried and tested.

4. Stronglifts 5×5

I also came across this classic approach to muscle-building called Stronglifts 5×5. It’s not something I’m going to do right now but the community and approach at the Stronglifts website are great.

So far, in 3 weeks (with a lot of exercise), I’ve lost 5kgs and gained a bit of muscle. Good times. I’m finding it much easier to sleep and feel pretty centred most of the time.

So with one eye on health, it’s time to turn the other eye onto people.

Idea 3: Self-expansion grows the relationship

Two bits of relationship research have stuck with me recently. The first bunch says that new experiences are key to fulfilling relationships. The second lot I came across via another New York Times piece: The Happy Marriage Is the ‘Me’ Marriage. It says, at its simplest, that good relationships stem from couples extending each other into new areas (the ‘Michelangelo effect’). It’s an interesting read and makes me realise how I’ve always been attracted to people (as friends) who I think I can grow through.

I think this has been a real weakness in my relationship with my wife in the past 7 or so years. As two full-time working parents, we’ve forgone our relationship too easily – tired, distracted, weekend and late-night pitching, keeping mental tallies of who does what around the house. On top of that, we’ve always been so independently spirited that I feel we’ve failed to build a support network around our little family so rarely – until the past month – get any time to ourselves.

So, we’re looking into this. The family focus on food and exercise is definitely a step in self-expansion. I keep exposing my wife to the stuff I’m reading and food we should buy; she shows me how not to ruin it when I’m cooking it.

A week back she picked up a group discount to Zumba – and I have to admit, the kids and I love that she’s doing something for herself for possibly the first time in almost a decade.

Once we’ve got momentum with food and exercise, I think the best way to address this third area is through scheduling activities and making it routine. Any suggestions?

Thoughts?

So, there you have it. Three big things to incite really important life change. I’d love to hear suggestions, corrections or tips. The big challenge is going to be to make sure these changes last.

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My memory isn’t that accurate about a bunch of stuff that happened as I was growing up. I think my parents split up when I was 6-7. I’m not completely clear why – I think I’ve been told but I’m content letting sleeping dogs lie. I think I remember the day my dad left. I think I grabbed his leg and asked him why he was leaving. I think it all made sense at the time.

Then, in retrospect, I disappeared into a massive chasm that I only escaped 4 years ago (from this week actually) when my wife gave birth to our first-born. Nobody made me disappear. I did that. I’ve written a bit about those years in Why some men are so lost and Dealing with depression at Christmas.

Anyway, like many of us, I’m not great at relationships. My wife’s the strong one. But, perhaps ironically, a lot of my thoughts and values about relationships and life were formed watching my mum have to support her two children by running one of the very early singles clubs in Australia – in the 1980s. Before RSVP. Back when parents at my school pointed me out to others as being the one with divorced parents – in ear shot. Back when you could have counted the number of divorced kids in a school on one hand – maybe two.

The years my mum ran her singles operation I both cherished and despised. I cherished them because they brought out the best in her – entrepreneurial spirit, bringing people together, coming up with party themes. I despised them because they brought strangers I didn’t trust into our lives and apartment, these strangers distracted my mum from us with nights of phone calls, and when she wasn’t doing the parties she was unhappy and stuck.

All of this is just life. I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing now without these experiences, so I thought I’d share with you what I took out of it. You may want to put on a bit of Black Box, C&C Music Factory or Tina Turner to get in the mood – these were the singles club anthems back then. Eek.

Nobody else will make it work for you

I published the first issue of my magazine when I was 21 (for more, read: 10 things about trying). I’m not sure I would have done this if I hadn’t watched a woman without a big network of support try and try again at creating a business to feed her family. In 6th grade, I used to buy packets of rugby league cards from the newsagent on my way to school, then mix and match the cards and re-sell them for a profit. It felt natural. I’m pretty sure this inclination came from watching my mum do her thing. And, from what I saw, a single mum in the 1980s had little choice but to fend for herself in only the most ingenious ways. Nobody was going to do it for her – and if you have a challenge or an idea, nobody else is going to do it for you either.

People value people who connect people

All of us have people in our lives who connect friends. They try to understand what we like and match us to people they think we’d like. They remove the risk from meeting new people; and we appreciate that they think about us. My mum built a business around this. Perhaps there’s a way you could improve your personal and professional life by doing more of this? I know I could.

People value confidence

A lot of these parties were hosted in our apartment. It wouldn’t have been more than 100sqm. Most of the parties happened while we were at dad’s – but enough happened for me to see mum in her prime… talking boisterously, circle of people around her, trying to connect people by introducing them and breaking the ice. Yes, she was louder than most – but people dug the fact that she was loud because they couldn’t be loud. They valued her confidence. It was part of the reason they paid to attend.

A good relationship is worth holding onto

My wife was born in South Korea. In South Korea, you try not to marry a child from a divorced family. Divorced kids divorce. Simple. I’ve held onto my wife since I was 19. Well, like I implied above, she held onto us more because she’s the strong one. But I have always had a personal value that’s committed to holding onto that special person. Unlike the Korean rule, this value is never simple. Anyway, it hit me one night – I may have been 12 or 13. I was cooking chicken schnitzel for a party in an open kitchen. I eaves-dropped, talked and watched. Even the loud people in the room looked uncomfortable – and why wouldnt they? Forty strangers were trying to work each other out; I’d suck at that. Watching that room that night and hearing some particularly awkward pick-up lines, I decided that I didn’t want to be part of the ‘meat market’ as my mum and her female friends called it. Ever since, the few relationships I’ve had were ‘long-term’ (well, as far as my age group at the time was concerned!). I really believe in this value but also realise it’s completely idealistic. The grass isn’t always greener.

Ladies, some men just won’t commit to you

I absorbed a lot of attitudes about men listening to my mum counsel, match-make and vet the men who came to her parties. There were ‘nice guys’ who’d make great art gallery escorts but not bedfellows. There were successful business types who were half-committed to other women – a wife they couldn’t divorce, for example. There were intelligent conversationalists – who weren’t much of a physical turn-on. And there were guys who would never commit and only came for sex. Well, not in our apartment… You know what I mean. I used to hear about guys cycling through these parties time and again – they’d attract a woman, something would happen, then they’d be back looking for someone else. Some were even after Australian residency. I have no idea how to pick these guys but they usually looked and acted the part but lowered expectations immediately – then disappeared. All I can say is a very general: keep an eye on it. Some people you just can’t change.

Self-obsession and relationships don’t mix

A lot of the people who came to these parties seemed really self-focused. I heard hundreds of hours of phone calls in these years, many of which sounded like ‘me me me me me’ but in adult tones. The people who seemed to me to be those ME people also seemed to be less likely to be in a relationship. Chicken or egg? Childhood generalisation? Is this a value you can even take on board from someone who writes a blog about his own experiences?

So, there you go: 7 things I learned from eaves-dropping on a middle-aged singles scene in the 1980s, all of which have led me to where I am today. Who would have thought it?

Photo courtesy Thinkstock.

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